10th post 0_0

waaa!! i havent updated this thing in a while

what has been happening?

my best friend passed away june 6th
her bday was last july 10th
her 40th day of passing was last saturday
i passed the arts club and became batchrep ^-^ woot
... crisis with mah friends... or at least with the extended group...
dont even think i can consider that person a s a friend. but she gave me this letter of apology... shit... now i pitty her... >.>
for some reason she has that gift! >.<
i think im getting over pineapple... im not sure though... but in a sense i dont want him to not be my crush... coz he's usually the source of my inspiration... and if he's not my crush anymore... then that means, no more sappy love poems and stories! i wont be able to continue my story!!! noooo!!! how can i also make that song that ive been working on thats supposed to be dedicated to him waaaa!!! gar!!!! noooooo!!!!
>.<... although he wont be my crush anymore, he could still be my inspiration in this particullar sense:
1. im happy coz im over him
2. im sad coz no more nights of waiting for his phonecalls hoping desperately to hear his voice
3. im also sad coz i wont be depressed over him
4. i'll be sad because im happy that im over him
5. i'll be sad coz im not depressed because im happy that i MIGHT be over him...
hahaha im weird... i know ^^
sigh... i think that in my head im over him coz i dont see him as much as before... sigh... sadly.... i dont miss him... THATS SOO SAD!
my inspiration has drifted beyond my reach!
no longer will it return!
forever it has willfully left!
and here i cry...
longing for the impossible...
eeew... mushy...
sigh... anyways...
also what happened recently... i cried last sunday for no apparent reason... i was just writing in my private journal about the week, then a subject about kitsan was being written, then sudden tears started coming out 0_0:
[my reaction]
*tears* wtf? *sniff* why the hell am i crying? *starts to laugh* what the hell? *LOL*...
im weird... i know... ^_^
sigh...so many more have happened... i'll try updating regularly if i can ^-^ however im not sure if itll be regular...