entry 12

this is me right now :stab:



before you read the reason to why im ranting, i'd rather rant first to get my anger out ^-^...

[this is not supposed to be made public, but i cant take it anymore]


i want my brother DEAD!:fork:

NO I DONT LOVE HIM! I TOLD HIM THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE!

that fucker doesnt love me! so why the fuck would i love him? he already stole my fucking laptop, my godforsaken gameboy sp, my everfamous 5110 that was stolen and re-bought bunches of times [right now is being used by th driver]... and guess what he did with the money... bought his godforsaken drugs that brought him in and out of the fucking rehab!



that boy fucking complains "why dont you love me? im your brother!" well fuck you! our parents tell me that you need our support, but what will that do?!!! how many fucking times did you go to the damn rehab? huh!! 3-5 times? how much money did our parents spend for YOU! huh? your rehab, your tutoring... THEY EVEN SENT YOU TO HAWAII so you would go to military training LIKE YOU WANTED! but what was the reason why you came back to this country?? COZ YOU WERE BORED!!! yes! that was your reason! you were bored! wow! thats such a good reason to blow off over a THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of travel! and you also wanted to visit ate princess WHO CLEARLY WASNT INTERESTED! she already dumped you godforbid! and before that... do you recall? 2 years ago when you graduated highschool! how old were you? 19!!! our parents had a college for you to go to, they even got you an apartment! microwave, bed, tv, couch, desk... EVRYTHING! they thought you changed! even our grandmother burst in tears to see her grandson graduate [she didnt even come to my garduation, which was a few DAYS before yours!] then after a month of being in college, we found out that you had another damn source there in laguna. one that gave you more of your damn stash! then once again another trip to the damn rehab, for over a year...

craaaaap!!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! you're the fucking reason why i want to move out! im already considering the damn dorm in school! just because of you!!!! but i cant consider it right now... since our parents are already considering rehab for you AGAIN! it would be too much money wasted...



at this rate, i wont be going to a good college coz of YOU! its amazing how me and my other siblings are in good schools, good expensive schools. im considering moving to a diff school for the sake of my parents, but they want me to continue in st. paul... dont get me wrong, i dont want to leave, however i feel the need to...



waht caused this anger?



i love my sleep, and if you disturb me i get pissed... but this morning [or rather afternoon] i was just sound asleep then my younger brother starts knocking on my door. he very well knows that i dont like being awaken, and he leaves me alone... then i hear
vinci[younger bro], carlo[older bro]



V: she wont open the door... *knock* please open it!

me: NO! godforbid! im sleeping! LATER!

V: see?

carlo: *starts banging the door and breaks the lock off... the door is open*



then you'll hear me cursing at my older brother at the risk of him breaking my skull... but guess why they wanted to open the door? coz my younger brother owns a drawer in my room where he keeps his cash [he puts it there coz he knows i lock my room practically 24/7]... aparently my fucked up older brother broke my fucking door coz he wanted some cash from vinci.... see? more cash! everytime he asks cash from me i just blow him off, whenever he asks "dont you care about your brother?" i tell him "no, i dont".. i know he wants my love, but frankly... could you love someone like that?

some people can tolerate it... but he's betrayed me so many times, its heartbreaking to keep saying you love him... i bet its a form of manipulation... he's asking me if i love him to gain pitty, then i would just give up the cash... to bad for him... kuripot ako!!! [well... not really, only towards HIM!]

gawd. he just left the house... to buy more of his stash most probably...



ENOUGH RANTING! the pepsi has now made me hyper and i have teh urge to think happy thoughts... ^-^



field tip:

ooh! it was fun!

the trecking was just tiring! i didnt really find it worth enjoying, but the bus ride home was hillarious!

me and my 2 other classmates were all boredified... until my classmate saw a mirror outside in a store and said

"ei look! you could see our reflection"

"hey cool! come to think of it... there's hardly any tint on these windows!...

i have an idea! you know what some tourists do, they wave to random people outside the bus! do you want to try that?"

"cool! lets experiment!!!"

then the three of us just started waving... waiting for someone to wave back to us ^-^ then everytime someone did wave back... we'd start laughing histerically!! :D... the whole bus just looked at us all bewildered like ^-^ after minutes of my classmates watching how much fun we were having... they started joining us ^-^... then as we got into the highway, our facilitator told us to quit it 0_0... it didnt matter though... coz there's no people walking in the highway for you to wave to 0_0...



my camera craze:

during the fieldtrip i forgot my cam on the bus, so i had 24 shots to waste... i have a lot of myself... OH THE VANITY! then.. pics of me and my baby [quity!! my loverly dawg!]!! and this live chicken now in our backyard!! however, my mom said we'll have it for dinner tomorrow... >.<... ick...



that about sums up stuff ^-^

i shal continue hitting the wooden wall in my room 'til it either breaks or my fist would bleed ^-^ or punch the wall 'til my fists bruise ^-^ oh the joy of being hyper! its my own natural painkiller ^-^ ;P