3 people in mind

6th day of the month once again. Four months have passed. So many signs came to me, and i was dreading that a day like this would pass again. Every month it's been the same, on the sixth... my mind's a blank. Thank God it didnt go blank during the exam!
This morning i had the urge to play that song you hoped for me to teach, i didnt realize why until now, so... i played it again... just for you.
~
I've been spacing out... the bio exam was MURDER! and the rest... *T___T.*
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I saw you the moment I arrived, when I came in, and when you left. I have no reaction though, it didnt really matter. coz we were always strangers, what's the difference [seriously!]?... but is it all going to die because of me?! no... hope not. not again.. this battle [metaphore] is between you and i, and if others follow... i'll make sure they wont follow me. they may argue, but i wont care, they shouldnt be part of this. may blood spill but harm shall never come upon the innocent ones coughyeahrightcoughthatsalaugh.
~
Also, I waited for you to come through that door. sure, i was busy [we all were], but seeing that empty space made me anxious. chin and i were contemplating, then you arrived. i couldnt help but smile for some odd reason, i even giggled a bit and yet chin teased me about it. i didnt care, it isnt serious, afterall you are just a replacement... a forced sort of happiness. hey, at least IT isnt there anymore... i bid an unknowing gratitude from me ^-^...
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now i go back to you... i wonder how you are. you're lucky that you dont have anything to worry about, unless you do. but how would i know. i hope your happy, and when i know that you are... then i too will smile. or probably strangle you when i get there.
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exams will be over by tomorrow. thank god. and then... woot! corpse bride with "the loyal ones!" yabba!
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random lyrics
SAVE
by: well known underground band lead singer and photographer who is also my english teacher Sir Alfred Dimalanta [i now praise his lyrics... i want to hear the actual song!!!]

I wish that I wont see life die on me
Or fade into sheer nothingness
The Familiar nothingness of wanting so much
Life simply just aint enough

Save me, I'm drowning, I feel so much pain
Waking up each morning to a life I cant explain
I am alone yet nobody knows
Save me right now from myself

Sometimes I wonder what it's like
To not ever know how to feel
No love and no hate,
No joy and no pain
Life simply just aint enough

Stpo me from wantin to sacrifice
Never ever really wanting to pay the price
I am my pain and I am my fear
Save me right now from myself

I always wonder what it's like to be abused
To wake up at night feeling battered, tired and used
To be filled with rage that I cant release
To want just a semblance of some inner peace

Stop me from following the trails of my tears
From decieving myself that there wont be better years
I am all my life, I am all my death...

I once thought that maybe this life
As it was supposed to be
But what's the use of choices,
What's the use of freedom
When they all lead to the same pain?

Save me, I've had all of life's tests
I hate waking up with a pain on my chest
Cursing the emptiness that I myself caused
Save me from my own self!!!!

i read that last night to take a break from reviewing in bio... i love it so much ^^ i still want to hear the actual song though >.>...