Drama

Im supposed to be going somewhere today. But I guess it's either I'm too lazy or whatever. I dunno. I know that by going to this place and have fun, see the people who have made this great impact in my highschool memories. However, I really dont feel like going. It should be good for me to go out right? If ever I feel so melancholy... but no. I dont want to go. I feel too sad and annoyed and I DONT KNOW! to hell with it all! I'm TOO UPSET AND NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN CALM ME DOWN! [except a caramel frapp from starbucks >.>] but thats besides the point. Why is it that I can get this upset ever so easily? I HATE IT! damn it. I dont know wether this year is good for me or not. I met new friends that care and despite all the crap that I've handled this school year... it's all good. So why? Why am I like this right now? Why am i pondering these godforsaken thoughts as if I have a problem when I DONT! I dont have a problem! God! I hate myself! I know the ENTIRE root to my behavior and there's nothing I can do. Go on... go psycho on me and try to "analyze" your freakin mind and try to help me realize that i dont have a fucking problem... i can spill my guts out and tell you everysingle detail of my pathetic life and you wont be able to help me. I'm used to this i guess... I've gone through hell for two whole years... I guess I wont be able to break the habbit until I'm really over all of this...
Just having the feeling of running away doesnt cut it anymore... Isolation wont do me anygood [as usual] then what? what? what? what?...

just live your normal lives... I just suck... I suck suck suck suck suck... I friggin suck... leave me to my own fudged up head... and ponder to what I just said... Im being irrational :D

and to YOU... i cant believe you still think that way. I thought that you would've thought differently of... whatever... nevermind ... but i guess you dont...