Answers to your possible questions

Before this day I was going to blog about how I have no freaking right to be complaining about life. I recently found out that someone has been having it worse than I have. I cant say who, but that person indirectedly helped me to think that I should stop my complaining. All my problems are all in my head and they're not really important matters. She helped me realize that I'm making my life more difficult than it should be.

Unfortunately, I cant stop my head from thinking.

I'll be explaining now why the heck I've been avoiding my friends during recess or lunch.

First of all, my deepest apologies. It all started when I read something that a friend didnt care to explain. Well, that and the fact that the cards were coming. I was so depressed with that feeling of my friends were holding me back from the potential that I have. So due to my over thinking, I'm sorry guys, but I really have been avoiding you.

Not only that, there's the trigo thing too. Trig still pisses me off. It's easy na nga tapos nahihirapan pa ako na ma-gets siya. Why is it that I have to like the more difficult subjects?! fuck. I'm so fucking stupid.

And in addition to my fucked up depression, I've had this stupid thought one day that... you guys didnt need me anymore. This goes out to some particular people. It's just not the same anymore and it's bothering me.

Another thing that's been bothering me. Chess. I mean, every dismissal. Grabe. It's brain wracking! And for those who've read my previous entry. My drastic decission was to quit the try-outs. It's crazy. I know. But I really cant take it. And because of something that was said to me today, I'm going to be chosing between two things that I love the most. I cant just choose one. Now I'm deeply pressured to chose. This will make or break my last year in school. The question is "What do I love most?" The one that I've promised to stick with or the one that I was told that I had great possibilities in?

One more factor in my fucked up life. The big fucking move from my home. I hate it there. I know it sounds mababaw, but the internet is there. The internet, the source of my salvation. And I'm not kidding. Usually when Im on the net, my problems go away just by staring at the monitor. And I dont care if I'm wasting my hours anymore. I'm too attatched and I go crazy without the internet. And plus, that godforsaken excuse for a home is not a home. I dont feel the same comfort that I feel when I'm in this house.

Then, the reason why we're in that godforsaken house will be leaving for the US this sunday. pfft.

Why must things have to change? Why are things so fucked up? And even if my grades are the highest I've ever recieved in my highschool life... Why am I still so bumbed and paranoid?

I cant stop thinking. My brain is the main reason why my life is falling appart. Or at least Why it's falling appart.

I'm sorry for the sudden emo-ness.
People have confided me about their personal problems and all the emotion from them lead me to various realizations.

I miss people. I miss them so much but they're just THERE! It's like that stupid line "you're so near yet so far." Everynight... nevermind... basta.

I should stop thinking before I cry again. Or at least before people catch me crying.

I'm sorry, I'm pathetic. But I really can't help it. I have to let this out in some way... I mean, there's also someone that's not here... that person could've probably lifted this feeling by now.

And more apologies, coz I know that I have no right to complain. People will always make it a point that they're having it worse than I am. While they just dont know that their way of helping may just be another factor why I'm like this too.

Not to worry though. There's someone who probably and somewhat convinced me otherwise to all my nonesense thinking.

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UPDATE:
Leche talaga mom ko. All she freakin thinks about is herself! IT'S ALWAYS HERSELF! DAMN HER! She very well knew that I had to finish this fucking lab report so that I didnt have to do it tomorrow! I dont give a rat's ass if she's going to have a "going away party" tonight! I don't care that she's leaving for the states tomorrow!

GOOD! LEAVE BITCH!! LET THE FUCKING PLANE CRASH TOO!! THAT WAY YOUR FUCKING ASS WONT BE A BURDEN TO EVERONE'S SHOULDERS!!!

Why do you always have to have it YOUR WAY?! What's wrong with your head that cant comprehend that some of the things you say SIMPLY CAN NOT BE DONE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! DIE BITCH! FUCKING DIE AND GO TO HELL!!!

Will I cry at your funeral?? Hmm... I'm not sure. Maybe I'll cry for the fact that a plane crash is not good enough for you. That dying in a blazing inferno isnt your destiny. Maybe being thrown in a cobra filled pit. Or a rat infested sewer. OR BETTER YET! I WILL PLACE YOU IN A TANK! AND IN THAT TANK YOU THERE'LL BE A 3 FOOT THICK WALL THAT'LL SEPARATE YOU AND A BURGER!!!

*knocks on wood* no, I want you to die by falling on the stairs because your legs cant hold your obsesity. Basically, you've failed yourself you lazy ass monkey fucking bastard! You'll die alone. I swear to God you'll die alone...

SHIT!!! I MISSED KYOU KARA MAO COZ OF HER!!!! FUCK!!!!