Am I just depressed or is something really going on?

shitness... why does it have to be that every week something crappy has to happen to me?

I mean, today... I felt really, really... I cant explain!! gah!

hmm.. Today, I noticed that something funny was going on with a friend. I didnt think anything except that she was busy, so I didnt want to bother her today. But then, I found out that she was avoiding me.

...Why? Well, let's just say it has something to do with a particular daily routine.

I shouldn't be offended, but why the hell am I? ...Oh yeah. Coz knowing that someone's avoiding you hurts!!! NO MATTER WHAT REASON!! ...crap. I cant believe that I'm crying over this. She prolly didnt even mean to do it. But I dunno... it's prolly coz I'm thinking too much about it (waay too much...[I wouldnt be me if I werent XD]).

The thing is... I've had this trauma over a friend who started avoiding me(this was a looooong time ago). Coz when she did, it just meant that I needed an attitude adjustment. And later... let's just say it wasnt a good experience for a kid. So I dunno, it's been replaying in my head... "Do I need an attitude adjustment again?"

Shit! ...I couldnt eat properly coz of this, I cant even study right now coz I cant get it out of my head. And this is not just coz of the avoiding thingy...

Just to be honest... that avoiding thing was okay coz I was thinking "okay, so I guess I have to tone down my reminders if she's just going to avoid me instead of just telling me so...". But then, this dismissal... I wanted to have some sort of "revenge" (so if you're reading this I guess you know why I was partially bumbed out) and that I planned on ignoring her as well (though it's terribly unavoidable, coz if I did do it then I wouldve seemed rude, so I just looked bumbed instead! XDD). However, my plan didnt really take into effect coz after a few random moments... we finally decided to head back to our usual hangout place.

During those moments, there was a sudden change of aura....

Another friend wrote on... um... my...o_O... property XDD. and ever since then, they both started acting weird. I dont want to assume, but it just seemed that it concerned me since friend 2 didnt want to give back my property until she left on her bus! >_> XP. And I TOTALLy did NOT get the big deal about it... coz I didnt know what the heck she meant on what she wrote on my "property".

And when friend 2 left... (nako.. AMININ MO NA!) friend 1 started to look pissed.

How'd I know? Coz when we left the parking space of friend 2's bus she started walking ahead looking gloomy and blah... and when we got back to the hangout place she was silent... she kept saying she was okay when she clearly wasnt...

Why? EWAN KO!! ...then a few minutes later I had to leave.

Nakakabitin no? Doesnt it fucking suck that you wanted to know something but you had no choice but to leave?!!

...that's a partial reason why I feel so down tonight. I dont know what I should feel. Should I feel hurt, betrayed, annoyed, understanding?? Huwat?! ...seriously!!! WHAT????!!!!!

I dont know... *sigh*

I guess tomorrow wont be a good day for me...

Not unless someone clarifies things for me... Coz I prolly wont be able to sleep tonight...