Back from the grave
OH GOD. I am so frustrated right now!!
There are so many things in my mind and it's disrupting my mood!!!
GOD.
It's enough that I constantly have to update people. Taking so much of my time in order to make updates for people. Trying to remember so much of the things that they need to know! Trying to think of logical ways in order for every one to cooperate. Wasting so much of my load!!!
In all honesty, these are things that I don't mind doing.
HOWEVER, if you mess up my fucking schedule... I CAN'T FUNCTION.
Especially if that schedule is TOTALLY PACKED. AND THAT THERE BASICALLY IS NO ROOM FOR CHANGE!!! IT ALL BECOMES TO FUCKING HASSLE.
I don't want to think about it anymore.
I have too much on my mind.
PUTANG INA. ANG DAMI NA.
DAMN IT. AYOKO NA.
Fuck this shit.
GAH.
I just wish that my fucked up earphones had the capability to amplify volume.
Loud music calms me down.
No sappy music for me right now.
It's all angry LOUD rock.
I.. am so not happy...
----
The hardest thing about this is... All this "unfunctionability" is starting to show. I dunno how much longer I can hide this.
I don't want to tell anyone else, because when I talk about it to myself, I already feel so fucking down.
What more if I share to others? Peoples' mood will just go down because someone else (me) is down. And if their mood won't change, and I don't feel sympathy, surely, I'll feel pissed.
It's a lose-lose situation.
So.. might as well keep it to myself.
Tell people that I'm tired or something... it's the same thing anyway.
Thank you, blog. For being a non-responsive reader/container of my hidden thoughts.
Whatever...
There are so many things in my mind and it's disrupting my mood!!!
GOD.
It's enough that I constantly have to update people. Taking so much of my time in order to make updates for people. Trying to remember so much of the things that they need to know! Trying to think of logical ways in order for every one to cooperate. Wasting so much of my load!!!
In all honesty, these are things that I don't mind doing.
HOWEVER, if you mess up my fucking schedule... I CAN'T FUNCTION.
Especially if that schedule is TOTALLY PACKED. AND THAT THERE BASICALLY IS NO ROOM FOR CHANGE!!! IT ALL BECOMES TO FUCKING HASSLE.
I don't want to think about it anymore.
I have too much on my mind.
PUTANG INA. ANG DAMI NA.
DAMN IT. AYOKO NA.
Fuck this shit.
GAH.
I just wish that my fucked up earphones had the capability to amplify volume.
Loud music calms me down.
No sappy music for me right now.
It's all angry LOUD rock.
I.. am so not happy...
----
The hardest thing about this is... All this "unfunctionability" is starting to show. I dunno how much longer I can hide this.
I don't want to tell anyone else, because when I talk about it to myself, I already feel so fucking down.
What more if I share to others? Peoples' mood will just go down because someone else (me) is down. And if their mood won't change, and I don't feel sympathy, surely, I'll feel pissed.
It's a lose-lose situation.
So.. might as well keep it to myself.
Tell people that I'm tired or something... it's the same thing anyway.
Thank you, blog. For being a non-responsive reader/container of my hidden thoughts.
Whatever...
posted by: moi @ 12:14 AM
